Effective Communication Skills

One key to becoming a great conversationalist is to pause before replying. A
short pause, of three to five seconds, is a very classy thing to do in a
conversation. When you pause, you accomplish three goals simultaneously.

The Benefits of Pausing
First, you avoid running the risk
of interrupting if the other person is just catching his or her breath before
continuing. Second, you show the other person that you are giving careful
consideration to his or her words by not jumping in with your own comments at
the earliest opportunity. The third benefit of pausing is that you will actually
hear the other person better. His or her words will soak into a deeper level of
your mind and you will understand what he or she is saying with greater clarity.
By pausing, you mark yourself as a brilliant conversationalist.

Ask Questions
Another way to become a great
conversationalist is to question for clarification. Never assume that you
understand what the person is saying or trying to say. Instead, ask, “How do you
mean, exactly?”

This is the most powerful question I’ve ever learned for controlling a
conversation. It is almost impossible not to answer. When you ask, “How do you
mean?” the other person cannot stop himself or herself from answering more
extensively. You can then follow up with other open-ended questions and keep the
conversation rolling along.

Paraphrase the Speaker’s Words
The third way to become a
great conversationalist is to paraphrase the speaker’s words in your own words.
After you’ve nodded and smiled, you can then say, “Let me see if I’ve got this
right. What you’re saying is . . .”

Demonstrate Attentiveness
By paraphrasing the speaker’s
words, you demonstrate in no uncertain terms that you are genuinely paying
attention and making every effort to understand his or her thoughts or feelings.
And the wonderful thing is, when you practice effective listening, other people
will begin to find you fascinating. They will want to be around you. They will
feel relaxed and happy in your presence.

listening Builds Trust
The reason why listening is such a
powerful tool in developing the art and skill of conversation is because
listening builds trust. The more you listen to another person, the more he or
she trusts you and believes in you.

Listening also builds self-esteem. When you listen attentively to another
person, his or her self-esteem will naturally increase.

Listening Develops Discipline
Finally, listening builds
self-discipline in the listener. Because your mind can process words at 500-600
words per minute, and we can only talk at about 150 words per minute, it takes a
real effort to keep your attention focused on another person’s words. If you do
not practice self-discipline in conversation, your mind will wander in a hundred
different directions. The more you work at paying close attention to what the
other person is saying, the more self-disciplined you will become. In other
words, by learning to listen well, you actually develop your own character and
your own personality.

Action Exercises
Here are two things you can do
immediately to put these ideas into action.

First, make a habit of pausing before replying in any conversation or
discussion. You will be amazed at how powerful this technique really is.

Second, continually ask, “How do you mean?” in response to anything that is
not perfectly clear. This gives you even more time to listen
well.

by Brian Tracy
About Brian Tracy: Brian Tracy is the most listened to audio author on personal and business success in the world today. His fast-moving talks and seminars on leadership, sales, managerial effectiveness and business strategy are loaded with powerful, proven ideas and strategies that people can immediately apply to get better results in every area. Join Brian’s Free Email Newsletters. Copyright © 2001 Brian Tracy International. All Rights Reserved. www.briantracy.com

by Sara Jones

Conflict is inevitable, but it can be reduced and turned into something positive. The interpersonal conflicts we experience on a daily basis at both from the large organizations to a tiny corporation. Conflict shifts people’s focus away from work and the basic goals of the team, department and organization. It negatively impacts productivity, morale and ultimately the results. The most important skills needed for managing employee relations are interpersonal communications and conflict management skills.

Interpersonal communication skills is the foundation for making the hostile work environment and it allows the supervisor or manager an opportunity to build a good relationships with the overall workgroup. In an organization peoples are required to work with a group. Because of cultural differences among the team member a tremendous amount of interaction is required. Interpersonal skills can help to create the right workplace climate reducing disruptive behavior. Also supervisors and leaders should respect their employees to accomplish a goal. Interpersonal communication has many dimensions. Interaction with other people allows individuals the opportunity to develop and enhance their own ideas and share valuable information with the others. Through the proper perception of the interaction employee can find solutions to improve their organizational effectiveness. Interpersonal skills develop good employee relations with the workforce through visual and verbal imagery making employee more satisfied and fulfilled.

No one likes to deal with conflict, but the truth of the matter is that we must. Problems that aren’t dealt with tend to become septic and spread into other areas and relationships. Conflict Management Skills can help in resolving employee relations issues quickly and more effectively, and can create greater satisfaction with the workgroup. Surveys show that managers now spend about 20 percent of their time on conflict resolution. And, as employees are asked to communicate with a greater variety of people, they need their own conflict management skills. Most of us are less skilled at handling conflict than we should be. Although studies show that a negotiating behavior is usually the best response to a conflict situation.

When in conflict people have five basic conflict handling positions:

1. Avoiding
   
2. Accommodating
   
3. Competing
   
4. Compromising
   
5. Collaborating

Disordered management style and issues exacerbate the conflict because the communication gets distorted and people become frustrated in a workgroup. Managers should always address up difficult situation and speak up. Effective listening skills convey information properly. Listening what the person says, and responding to the conversation on a positive way reduces workplace conflict. Conflict of any type creates some type of emotions such as anger, frustration, and sorrow. Managing these emotions through respect and careful manner can establish a good relationship with the workplace. With all these techniques improve your conflict-management skills that will go a long way in fostering positive employee relations with a workforce.

Maintaining a good relationship is part of living healthy. Your communication skills are important to maintaining those relationships that help you be healthy. How do you communicate? How often do you communicate? Do you initiate conversation?

The people we interact with on a regular basis see you at your best and at your worst. You probably want a healthy overflow of those best moments. Communicating wisely and effectively can help you.

No one likes to be offended and no one likes to be insulted. These are common sense statements, but it is amazing how often this is ignored. The usage of profanities in any conversation can be taken as insults at anytime. One of the best ways to avoid this mistake is to make a conscious choice to not use profanity.

Insults can come in two forms, words and/or gestures. You can avoid a lot of problems by thinking before you speak. Choosing your words before sharing them may be all you need to bring a smile to someone’s face rather than a frown.

Think about how you communicate. Sometimes the way you say something can mean the exact opposite of what you intended. Think about the message your body communicates to others.

Crossing your arms can send the message that you don’t care or you can’t be bothered with the message being communicated to you.

When was the last time you called that “best friend?” Part of communicating is taking the time to say I care by starting conversation and initiating the contact whether it be by phone, email or in person.

Do you initiate contact with your friends and family? Do you call and share your thoughts and concerns? Sometimes it’s up to you to make the contact and this is a healthy way of communicating to others that you care about them. Take the initiative to say that you care.

by Gabriel J. Adams

Every part of our business and life requires negotiation skills. The ability to negotiate will increase our successes, open up opportunities, and improve relationships.

Negotiating skills are not part of this country’s formal education, though negotiation is used more often than math skills, every day. These skills create the core of our professional and personal lives.

The importance of negotiation is drastically underestimated in today’s work world. Strong negotiation skills are needed to succeed in life.

What is Negotiation?

There are three parts to negotiation: communication style, personality type, goals. Each of these elements need to be balanced between the two people negotiating before anyone can manipulate a desirable outcome.

Negotiating is simply “working with other to achieve some beneficial result.” It is one of those skills that takes a few hours to learn and a lifetime to master. It is not a genetic trait we’re born with, like athletic or artistic ability. No matter what education level or social position, the negotiation skills are not beyond your capabilities.

It just takes time, a little education, attention to honing our skills, and your life will be better.

Negotiation is not the art of manipulating another person. Negotiation is a type of collaboration, even if you need to convince the other person that it is in their best interest to work together. Manipulation is forcing your goals and opinions on another person.

Communication Styles

There are four communication styles. Each of these are combined with four personality groups. The communication style is their ability to articulate their wants and needs.

A good communicator can identify a person’s personality type and communication style. The communication style a negotiator uses does not necessarily match the audience’s, but the audience will find it familiar and be comfortable using it.

Some communication styles are directly to the point, void of facts. Others layout the facts, letting the audience come to their own opinion before the negotiator offers their opinion or goal. Using the wrong communication style can make the audience feel like they are being ’sold’ or coerced.

Personality Type

The personality type determines what the audience considers a strong enough motivation to change their plans work with you. The negotiator will use the audience’s values and goals to speak using a language, motives, goals, and values their audience will find appealing.

The audience’s personality type will also determine how long the presentation is, and what props the negotiator uses. An artistic person will like to see slides. A driver personality will want facts and figures they can take away with them.

Goals
The expert negotiator does not focus on their goals, but the audience’s goals. The art of negotiating is making the audience believe that they are coming out on top of the agreement, without the negotiator begging or selling.

Goals are often motivated by people’s desire for relationships, building wealth, improving security, feeling good about yourself, and achieving a socially ‘higher’ goal. A negotiator will use these goals to ’speak’ to the audience and help them reach their goals by reaching their own goals.

Objective

Negotiating is not a forceful encounter. Act collaboratively, not competitively. It is not “me against you.” The other person is a bargaining partner. Everyone must come away with a benefit, or the party who has nothing to loose will leave. This is seen when men fall in love. The court a woman until she marries them, treating her as the object of their love, instead of an equal partner who must continually be courted. We see this in business when one company merges with another, and then guts the minor company, leaving the remaining workers feeling wounded.

It is a big mistake to think you can use negotiations to get something for nothing. When negotiating, present your case as if both parties are on equal ground. Everyone can succeed at negotiating if they make “Mutual Benefit” their mantra.

Summary

There are many places to learn how to negotiate, about communication styles, and personality styles. Learning to listen can also give you an edge. Pro negotiators spend more time listening instead of talking. They do not cut-their-own-throats by cutting off the audience why their ideas and goals are wrong, or poorly motivated. They do not finish the audience’s sentences. And, in the end, they earn the audience’s trust, the first goal of any pro negotiator.
by Mark Walters

Mark Walters is a third generation entrepreneur and author. He offers free training and investing videos designed to speed you towards financial independence at http://www.cashflowinstitute1.com/Articles.html

 Test Your communication skills

Communication is one of the most important qualities for success. To communicate is not simple. We think that to speak and to hear is communication. But it is much more than that.

When you listen to somebody, ask yourself these questions - are you totally attentive to him/her?

Are you attentive to the tone of voice?

Are you keeping eye contact?

Do you observe the body language?

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To communicate means to tell about our feelings, and our thoughts. When we communicate, our words may not say precisely what is in our mind, but when somebody takes our body language and words together, he/she can probably find out what we really want to communicate. Understanding communication and making communication is both an art and a science. But it is not very difficult to learn.

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Is all communication persuasive? Sometimes, it seems it is. At the least, we can say much of our communication includes a persuasion component.

Consider this article, which takes an editorial rather than an overtly persuasive approach. Yet, the underlying premise is that strategic communication works more effectively than communication without a conscious purpose. So, I’m trying to persuade you that one approach (the strategic) to communication works better than another.

Consider, too, the three most intriguing words in the English language: “I love you.” At the same time, these words can be both self-sacrificing and self-serving. In the self-serving sense, we use the words because we want something from the person to whom we’ve uttered them.

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Nonverbal Communication StudyNonverbal communication is a silent infiltrator, having broad influence over our social environment. It provides us with a mode for conveying messages without the use of verbal language. It may enhance or detract from a verbal communication. It regulates relationships by affecting the likelihood of introduction and continued interaction. We are able to infer emotion through nonverbal communication and influence other’s perception of our competence, power and vulnerability. It also plays a role in the perception of the actual message we are trying to convey. It affects our lives in a myriad of ways from childhood throughout adulthood, and as long as we intend to communicate with others.

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Inspiring and Energizing with Strong Verbal Communications
“Half the world is composed of people who have something to say and can’t, and the other half who have nothing to say and keep saying it.”

Robert Frost, early 20th century American poet
We can’t inspire and energize people with memos, mission statements, data and analysis, charts, goals and objectives, measurements, systems, or processes. These are important factors in improving performance. But that’s management, not leadership. People are inspired and aroused by exciting mental pictures of a preferred future, principles or values that ring true, and being part of a higher cause or purpose that helps them feel they’re making a difference.

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Good skills in communication are essential not just in business, but also in everyday life. To be an effective communicator, you must have real communication skills. These skills need to be honed, developed, and practiced on a continuous basis. These compose the center of interpersonal skills. The greater the awareness concerning these skills, the more effective you will become in communicating with others.

This is also true in the business world where communication bridges everyone and everything together. No business venture will ever take off if good communication is not present.

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