Effective Communication Skills

 I’ve noticed that when a problem occurs many people handle it by responding at the extreme scale of the communication continum. They either do not communicate about the problem at all and turn their feelings inward, and become angry, frustrated and stressed, or out of their emotion turn immediately to the address the situation aggressively turning the problem into a conflict. This article addresses a better way to solve problems by effective communication skills.  

Personal Responsibility – What Happened?

The ability to communicate one’s opinion is a right; at least it is in the USA . But, what about one’s responsibility to communicate? Unfortunately, it is not a requirement. I believe every individual has the personal responsibility to communicate directly, sincerely, and honestly in situations of conflict. But, today so many want to play it safe and defer troublesome conflict by using a referee.

Recently, I read in one of the “Ask” columns published in the Los Angeles Times. A woman was looking for a neighborly way to resolve her issue of a neighbor’s cigar smoke floating into her townhouse. Unfortunately, the guidance the author of this “Ask” column offered was flawed. The columnist offered some data about the hazards of second-hand smoke and a recommendation to the woman to ask the cigar smoker to smoke somewhere, other than the smoker’s own patio. Sure thing, like that’s going to happen.

Outside for solutions

Why do you suppose this woman needed to consult the “Ask” columnist about her challenge? Could it be, as John Grey stated in his book, Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus that women tend to solve problems by committee and she needed several opinions? Or could it be that this woman was not confident enough in herself to chat with her neighbor about the problem? After all, she did ask for a “neighborly” solution—leading one to believe that she was not an extremist on the issue. But, why does this woman think she needs a referee to help her?

I find it both interesting and disturbing that so many people believe they have to seek outside guidance for simple problems like the above. What ever happened to sincere communication? When did we quit talking to one another?

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Executives and managers are involved in meetings, presentations, interviews, conferences, telephone conversations, memos or emails, participating in all sorts of communications methods to exchange the necessary information. In fact, when one examines an organization, it can be easily seen that many examples of verbal and nonverbal behavior exist. Some communication specialists believe that these and almost all other forms of behavior are really means of communication and conversely that all forms of communication reflect the behavior of individuals. But, is this the case? Well, if nothing else, the fact remains that in every organization, communication occurs constantly.

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Communication has been a part of society since times immemorial. It is shocking then, that people still fail to understand each other correctly at times. How often do we argue with somebody simply because we misunderstood what they had meant in the first place?

It is definitely a myth that some can communicate better than others simply because they are blessed with better skills. At the same time it is true that some people cannot communicate as well as others thanks to handicaps. However, communication can be fine tuned through practice in any case.

In fact, people who have disabilities work at their communication skills harder than others, and shame them by communicating much better than them at times.

A. The power of perception is a key factor in improving your communication skills. Try and perceive in your mind how you think of an issue before you try and convince someone else about it. At the same time, try and be a little objective as well – not everybody perceives the same issues in the same way.

Did you know that in countries other than America it is rude to open a present in front of the person who gifted it, because in case you do not like what you see your expression may hurt the person? In America people do just the reverse by opening the presents to show their appreciation. Neither seems incorrect. It is just the way you think about it!

B. Do pay attention to details both with verbal as well as non verbal forms of communication. A comma or decimal could mean a huge different if you were writing on finance, while a gesture like a hand shake could show your sincerity in a meeting. A handshake should be firm and inviting, not a by-the-way formality.

C. Speak from the heart. When you know exactly what a word means you use it with such confidence that the listener is keen to understand more. Non verbal forms of communication like what you wear also play a crucial role in what you are trying to convey. In other words, dress formal when you are speaking on a serious issue, and casual when you are talking about sports is fine.

D. Practice does make perfect, and that holds true in fine tuning your communication skills as well. You could practice speaking in front of a mirror to get visual feedback of your non verbal communication. Similarly, you could speak into a recorder to get feedback of your verbal communication, and make corrections and re-record where applicable. Doing so regularly will no doubt turn you into a great speaker over a period of time.

Abhishek is a self-proclaimed Personality Development Guru and has written several books on this topic! Visit his website http://www.Positive-You.com and Download his FREE Personality Development Report and discover some amazing self-improvement tips for FREE. Become the best you can become and reclaim your life! But hurry, only limited Free copies available.

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