Effective Communication Skills

Recently, when out to dinner with another couple, my husband is surprised at what someone says about one of our neighbors. He even comments this to the person about his amazement. Less than one week later, my husband comments to me he wonders about this very situation. After asking him, “Well don’t you remember Sean told you that?” “No. I must have been in a conversation with someone else then.”I just torque my jaws and change the subject because I just don’t want to have this conversation about listening again.
Whether it’s with you or friends, it’s annoying and rude when your husband communicates he’s not listening. “I don’t really care,” is the message. Listening is different as hearing. We’re born with the ears to hear. But listening takes energy, time and practice. There are actions to demonstrate your ability to listen, show you care and reduce stress in the process.
First, give your full attention to your spouse. When my husband was speaking with Sean, he was also carrying on a conversation with someone else. There humanly is no way that you can give your full attention when you are dividing it between two people!
Ask clarifying questions before you do your talking. If you want to understand your wife’s concerns, respond to a problem or add to the conversation, ask a question (”So what you are saying is … .”) Then keep quiet while you listen to their reply. Then you are sure to be on track. Listen first to understand, then to respond.
And anticipate keywords. With experience you learn how some comments are familiar. How you have discussed this previously? When you hear keywords about these everyday situations or previous discussions, use them to help you add to the conversation when the time comes. This is sometimes called leveraging your knowledge.
Listen for feelings first and specifics second. Check your understanding of your wife’s emotions from her point of view (It must be frustrating to not get what you think you were getting.) If that perception check is correct (Yes I am just fit to be tied,) continue with specific facts of the conversation. This type of verbal feedback, particularly on the telephone, can clarify a concern without you saying something there is no need to say.
Identify what bad listening habits you have and begin to minimize and improve them. The top five worst listening habits most of us have are: reacting emotionally, listening only for the facts, getting distracted, faking attention and being critical of the speaker’s delivery. Found yours? Know it and do something to improve it. Let’s say you find yourself getting distracted by listening in a second conversation when you are out with your wife and a group of friends. You can wear a rubber band around your wrist for 30 days. And every time that undesirable habit pops into your conversation with you wife, or anyone for that matter, snap that rubber band back. Day after day you’ll be snapping less because you will be replacing your bad habit with something that is effective.
A famous philosopher once said, “We only hear half of what is said to us, understand only half of that, and remember only half of that.” You can reduce misunderstandings and show your spouse you do care when you move beyond hearing to listening.
Copyright Patricia Weber, http://www.prostrategies.com
by Patricia Weber
America’s #1 Coach for Introverts, Shy and Reluctant who sell, Pat Weber, helps you effortlessly get the business you want.

Get her free report, 6 Secrets to Sales Success for Introverts! Go to her website for a more comfortable, confident, no-stress sales method.

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From early on in school we have been taught that listening skills are an important part of how to communicate. It is natural for humans to use listening skills to build communication skills.
Babies learn to speak through listening. We learn about things we do not know about through listening. So having effective listening skills can make you able to communicate better. You can learn how to communicate better through listening skills if you know the basics about listening.

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Effective Communication has it foundation in the development of your ability to listen well.listening not only increases your ability to understand what the speaker is communicating, but also validates them by creating a connection through understanding.
listening Power

The art of good conversation centers very much on your ability to ask questions and to listen attentively to the answers.

The art of good conversation centers very much on your ability to ask questions and to listen attentively to the answers. You can lace the conversation with your insights, ideas, and opinions, but you perfect the art and skill of conversation by perfecting the art and skill of asking good, well-worded questions that direct the conversation and give other people an
opportunity to express themselves.

Ask Open Ended Questions
Ask open-ended questions that cannot be answered with a simple “yes” or “no.” Open-ended questions encourage the speaker to expand on his thoughts and comments. And one question will lead to another. You can ask open-ended questions almost endlessly, drawing out of the other person everything that he or she has to say on a particular subject.
Be Content to Listen
In order to be an excellent conversationalist, you must resist the urge to dominate the discussion. The very best conversationalists seem to be low-key, easy-going, cheerful, and genuinely interested in the other person. They seem to be quite content to listen when other people are talking and they make their own contributions to the dialogue rather short and to the point.
Share the Opportunity to Talk
In fact, good conversation has an easy ebb and flow, like the tide coming in and going out. Whether it is between two people or among several, the conversation should shift back and forth, with each person getting an opportunity to talk. Conversation in this sense is like a ball that is tossed from person to person, with no one holding on to it for very long. If you feel that you have been talking for too long, you should stop and ask a question of someone in the group. You will be tossing the conversational ball and giving that individual an opportunity to converse.
Learn to Listen Well
Listening is the most important of all skills for successful conversation. Many people are very poor listeners. Since everyone enjoys talking, it takes a real effort to practice the fundamentals of excellent listening and to make them a habit.

Action Exercises
Here are two things you can do immediately to put these ideas into action.

First, make a habit of asking good, open-ended questions of others in every conversation and in response to problems or difficulties. This shows interest and increases your understanding.
Second, take a deep breath, relax and let the other person talk more. Practice over and over until you become an excellent listener.
by Brian Tracy
About Brian Tracy: Brian Tracy is the most listened to audio author on personal and business success in the world today. His fast-moving talks and seminars on leadership, sales, managerial effectiveness and business strategy are loaded with powerful, proven ideas and strategies that people can immediately apply to get better results in every area. Join Brian’s Free Email Newsletters. Copyright � 2001 Brian Tracy International. All Rights Reserved. www.briantracy.com

The skill of listening is an important component in developing effective communication skills. listening needs to be practiced and frequently fine tuned to be truly effective. Most people have some listening blocks. Knowing about these blocks can help you to correct them through practice and start to replace them with good listening skills.

Comparison

The block of comparison makes attentive listening very difficult. Comparing involves the listener to compare during the conversation to determine who is more intelligent or more competent, themselves or the other person. Some people try to decide who has undergone more suffering or who the greatest victim is. While the other person is talking, the listener is thinking, “Could I do it that well?… I have had it harder, they do not know what really hard is like…” The listener cannot listen with the complete attention because their mind is occupied in seeing how they feel they measure up to the other person.

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A wise person once said ‘God gave us two ears and one mouth, and we should use them in that proportion’ Do you listen more than you speak. The ability to listen is a powerful communication skill. listening can dramatically improve the effectiveness of your communication. Why is listening so important? This article explores the power and effective results that can be gained by improving your listening skills.

Unleash the Power of Listening

A vital skill in becoming an effective communicator is the ability to listen. Listening skills are not taught in school, and sadly are a largely undeveloped skill in many people. To listen effectively is a powerful skill that can be learnt and practiced. You will gain more respect and esteem through listening rather than through talking Read the rest of this entry »

For many listening is an undeveloped skill, which they have not been taught. It is not taught in schools, and rarely in families. An ability to listen really enhances your communication and relationships. Unfortunately most people want to talk far more than they are willing to listen. As a consequence, frequent misunderstandings occur, as noone ‘really’ hears what the other person is trying to communicate.

Please Listen, Don’t Just Hear Me!

“One of the greatest gifts you can give to anyone is the gift of attention.”
– Jim Rohn

Did you know that there is quite a difference between listening and hearing? Read the rest of this entry »